“Lawyers, Guns and Money” by Warren Zevon
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Helter Skelter Pre-Apocalypse Calypso
My astrologer says the stars are aligned now as they were in 1776. We are in a revolutionary age. The revolution has started but it’s far from over. The peak is before us but no one can see it because it is shrouded in clouds. Let’s all dance the calypso on the graves of the greedy, the murderous and the manipulators. The revolutionaries will demand the inheritance of the earthly remains. London is calling to the zombies of death, the ones with the yellowy pusey eyes.
Creature of habit
I’m not a creature of habit. I try not to follow a pattern and try to mix things up. On the other hand, there are a few things I almost always do:
- Miss a sock from the laundry basket to the washer. There’s always one odd clean/dirty sock.
- Forget something leaving home or work. This morning, it was my gym bag.
- Do a mental and pocket check before I leave home and work.
- Eat dark chocolate.
- Cuddle with Smarty.
- Give up too much to women too soon.
- Stay up late.
- Drink too much coffee.
- Worry and expect the worst case scenario.
- Eat tortilla chips.
- Act impulsively. Exictable boy that I am.
Sometimes Apple Burns My Ass
I have an iPhone 3G (note 3G). Recently, my battery life plummeted to about five-six hours. So I make an appointment with a Genius, who recommends a reset and turning off the 3G service. It’s a 3G phone, and Apple says to disable it to extend your battery life. Here’s the info straight from the Apple Web site:
“Turn off 3G: Using 3G cellular networks loads data faster, but may also decrease battery life, especially in areas with limited 3G coverage. To disable 3G, from the Home screen choose Settings > General > Network and set Enable 3G to Off. You will still be able to make and receive calls and access cellular data networks via EDGE or GPRS where available.”
What the hell is EDGE and GPRS? Are they better than 3G? Then why not call it the iPhone EDGE, for chrissakes. Apple also recommends turning off the Location Service (GPS) and WiFi. Might as well use a cheap phone, if that’s the case.
And to add insult to injury, they also suggest limiting the use of apps.
“Minimize use of third-party applications: Excessive use of applications such as games that prevent the screen from dimming or shutting off or applications that use location services can reduce battery life.”
They are running a TV commercial and print ads promoting apps. You’ve seen it: “There’s a app for that. Yep, there’s an app for just about everything,” and they show an iPhone loaded with apps.
Sometimes Apple Burns My Ass
I rode my bike along the Bay Trail this evening. The traffic seemed like a solid mass moving as one unit. Eerily, there was only a low hum as they slid down the I-80 chute into the 580 flats. They began to stack-up and back up, and the ancillary feeder roads were oddly vacant. The fog was sucked in across the Bay by the East Bay heat vacuum, and the crosswind almost knocked me off my bike.
Anxiety runs rampant in my veins.