Roman Candles

“Stella Blue”
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia
Copyright Ice Nine Publishing

All the years combine
they melt into a dream
A broken angel sings
from a guitar
In the end there’s just a song
comes crying like the wind
through all the broken dreams
and vanished years

Stella Blue

When all the cards are down
there’s nothing left to see
There’s just the pavement left
and broken dreams
In the end there’s still that song
comes crying like the wind
down every lonely street
that’s ever been

Stella Blue

I’ve stayed in every blue-light cheap hotel
Can’t win for trying
Dust off those rusty strings just
one more time
Gonna make em shine

It all rolls into one
and nothing comes for free
There’s nothing you can hold
for very long
And when you hear that song
come crying like the wind
it seems like all this life
was just a dream
Stella Blue

http://arts.ucsc.edu/gdead/agdl/stella.html

He should have won Best Actor at the Oscars. Never have I wanted an actor to win that award more than I wanted Mickey Rourke to win. He’s made an incredible comeback, a true tour de force performance, and his dog Loki just died. Loki was his constant companion. I can related to Mickey Rourke on many levels, the least of which is never winning an award. At least, Sean Penn had the courage, class and respect to call him out and call him his “brother.” Long live Mickey Rourke!

Christmas has become utterly meaningless to me. Completely and utterly indifferent to it. Food, wine and liquor, on the other hand, are the some of the means to a satisfying life. Even if for a moment. “Empty a bottle and I feel a bit free.” Today, I saw people out buying Xmas trees. Why haven’t they been declared environmentally unfriendly. We are deforestrated our conifer grove to decorate someone home for a few weeks. They are a fire-hazard in the home, and discarded covered with glittering plastic polymers and styrene, taking up too much space in our landfills. Ahh, but it’s the Holiday Season, time to buy, buy, buy and be nice to people you really despise. Why not be nice to people (okay not to everyone) every day of the year. Super Long’s In Oakland is open 24hrs a day, year round. They’re allowing us to buy, buy, buy every day, so the least we can do is be nice every day, too. Tonight, I’m going to a holiday party with people younger than me, who look and act older than me. Most are rather boring, I admit. They not friends, per se, but acquaintances I have know for several years. They are pleasant, sometimes funny, and always generous. But dull

The other day I was in a meeting at a non-profit in San Francisco interviewing graphic designers, when one of the interviewees referred to animals as “non-humans.” This is a new-agey, politically “correct” designation that, no doubt, originated in Marin County from where the person came. To that I retorted, “Well, you obviously have not met my cat Smarty because he’s definitely a human being.” By human, I mean he is sentient, sensitive and capable of communication both physically and verbally. No he does not speak English, but he has specific meows for telling me certain things and expressing basic emotions.

Smarty is more human than the “so-called humans,” who inhabit this planet Earth. Now I’m not talking about everyone; I’m only talking about the true “non-humans.” These are the murderers, the thieves, the exploiters, the abusers, the problem-makers, the vile, the deceitful, the incoherent, the inhuman, the negative, the evil ones among us. There is no heaven and there is no hell per se. We live in a plane of consciousness in which both exist simultaneously. When you recognize a true human being, acknowledge her or him through courtesy, conversation or a little nod and a smile. We know one another. Beware, be vigilant, be aware of those who masquerade as human being. You will know them, too, when you see them. You need not meet their gaze, but from the corners of your mind and your eyes watch them and be ready to defend against them. The truth will set you free; the truth will enslave them and remove them from our world.

It seems that bystanders who were witnessing the “stomping” to death of a two-year-old boy by his “father” in Turlock, Calif., did nothing.  The sensationalist headline in the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday, read: “Inaction in boy’s killing called justified.”

The headline was justified by this comment from a supposed expert: “I would not condemn these people,” said John Darley, a professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton University who has studied how bystanders react in emergency situations. “Ordinary people aren’t going to tackle a psychotic.” Well, I guess I’m not ordinary. And maybe we need fewer godamned ordinary people in the world. I would have thrown myself over the child or attacked the murderer myself. Yeah, I know that’s easy to say and you never know how you would react in a horrific situation like that. But I know myself well enough. This was a two-year old boy. How could you just stand by?

Summer is when I feel most alive. The warmth, the brightness, the long days are in sync it seems with my body chemistry, particularly the molecules of my mind. I literally count the days after the winter solstice, tracking the minutes of increased daylight. This Saturday is the summer solstice in which I will revel. My revels have just begun.

On Thursday evening last (3/27/08), I came home and found vomit on the floor. PeeWee, my 1.5 year-old Devon Rex, looked out of sorts and was crying out at me. When I saw him leaving spots on pee on the floor, I brought him to the emergency room. Blood and urine tests were ok, but an x-ray showed some substance in his abdomen. PeeWee came home with me that night. The next morning, he was hiding and very lethargic. I took him back for an ultrasound and an aspiration to check the fluid in his abdomen. They found blood in the fluid. The blood and urine tests done again seemed to rule out FIP, which they had suspected. They believed there could be a foreign object in his stomach, so they did exploratory surgery this afternoon. His stomach was filled with gas, some dehydrated food and a small hairball. His intestines and stomach were very irritated, and his lymph nodes were swollen. Because it is very unlikely, the problem was caused by something in his stomach, they took biopsies of his intestines, stomach, liver and lymph nodes. He came through surgery ok, but has to stay at the hospital for thrre more days. The biopsy results will be in at the end of the week.

Needless to say, I’m distraught and exhausted. Smarty, my other Devon and PeeWee’s grandfather,  keeps looking for PeeWee, and seems a little confused.  He’s charmed everyone at the hospital and has his favorite bed and blanket so he’s comfortable I believe. I’ll keep you (whoewver you are) updated.

Steam dandelion greens lightly. Drain. Boil water. Cook pasta al dente (ziti recommended). Saute 2 cloves garlic, red pepper flakes in olive oil, add dandelion greens, toss lightly. Add pasta toss lightly. Spoon into deep bowl. Cover with parmesan or romano or both. Pour white wine into glass. Take a sip. Take a bite. Repeat until sated.

Yahoo/MSN/AOL etc. “News” is an insidious, insipid form of censorship. Viva El Nueva York Times.

Cats are the furry, sentient, intelligent version of angels.